Are You As Indecisive as Buridan’s Donkey?

 

Photo by Diana Rafira on Unsplash

In the 14th century French countryside, a man named Jean Buridan owned a donkey his children had affectionately named Alain. Wanting the very best for Alain — to keep his children happy and Alain working hard on their small farm — Jean brought Alain to two identical piles of hay. Jean left Alain there, precisely between the two piles of hay, and went about his work.

Jean hooked his wagon of goods to the stronger mules he used to move his wares from town to town and left without giving Alain another thought. Upon his return some days later, Jean found Alain’s lifeless corpse between the two piles of hay.

You see, Alain had no rational basis for choosing one pile over the other, so there he stood until indecision caused him to starve.

As far as I know, there’s no truth to the story of Buridan’s Donkey. The paradox highlights the problems of decision-making when faced with perfectly balanced (or not) choices. It critiques the idea that purely rational beings would always act optimally. That is, when faced with two apparently equal choices, just pick one.

Seems simple, right?

Not so much.

Why is it that so many of us, even when faced with decisions that both likely have favorable outcomes, get stuck in indecision? We reach the figurative fork in the road and stay stuck, afraid to make the wrong choice.

The Problem of Indecision

For fifteen years, I’ve talked about starting my own business. Fifteen years is a long time. I talked about it with family and friends so often that they stopped believing it would ever happen.

In June 2024, I was given a wonderful opportunity to start my software development company. But it wasn’t until a terrible experience with my boss in November that I finally made the leap. I’d had a few bad experiences with my boss before, but the one in November gave me the anger and courage to move forward.

Looking back is tricky. It makes us wonder, “What if things had been different?” It’s a bit like the grandfather paradox in time travel — if I could go back and change the past, would I really get the outcome I wanted? Or would I end up wishing I’d stuck with the path I originally took?

Did I miss opportunities by not making the decision to start my company fifteen years ago? Of course, but had I started my company fifteen years ago, I would have missed all the opportunities that I’ve enjoyed in the last fifteen years.

It’s easy to see how we can get stuck in a mental loop — analyzing, second-guessing, and convincing ourselves that the “right moment” is always just ahead.

Why We Get Stuck

So often, we hesitate not because we lack options but because we’re afraid of making the wrong choice. We overanalyze, waiting for certainty. We tell ourselves we need more information, more confidence, or better timing. While we stand between the proverbial piles of hay, we forget that indecision has a cost: while we’re standing still, opportunities are passing us by.

Decision paralysis is often induced by having too many options as well. Ever spent 20 minutes scrolling through Netflix, unable to pick a movie, only to give up and watch something you’ve already seen? The more options we have, the harder it is to commit, because we’re afraid of missing out on something better. So we delay, revisit, rethink, and often, we end up making no decision at all.

How to Get Unstuck

If the problem is indecision, the solution isn’t finding the “perfect” choice. The solution is making a choice. Instead of waiting for certainty, we need to build habits that help us move forward. Here’s how:

1. Set a decision deadline. Give yourself a set amount of time to choose whether it’s five minutes for small decisions or a week for bigger ones. When the deadline hits, go with what you think is the best option and move forward. Action always beats endless deliberation.
2. Flip the script on fear. Instead of asking, “What if I make the wrong choice?” ask, “What if I do nothing?” Fear of failure can keep us on track, but regret from inaction is just as real. If the risk is low and the upside exists, take the leap.
3. Limit your choices. Too many options lead to decision paralysis. Narrow down the options to your two or three favorites. That forces you to pick from a smaller set. If you’re stuck between two nearly equal choices, they’re probably both good, so just choose and go.
4. Focus on progress, not perfection. Instead of trying to make the perfect coice, aim for the next best step. Even if it doesn’t lead to the ultimate solution, movement creates momentum, even when it’s small. One small step forward is better than staying stuck in place.

The Power of Moving Forward

Alain the donkey starved because he refused to choose. We don’t have to suffer the same fate.

Indecision isn’t always about not knowing what to do. It’s often about fearing what might happen after the choice is made. But standing still has a cost, too. The truth is, most decisions aren’t irreversible. Even when they don’t turn out as expected, they teach us something, move us forward, and open doors we never could have anticipated.

If you’re stuck between two choices, just pick one. If you’re drowning in options, simplify. If you’re waiting for certainty, accept that it probably won’t come. The worst decision isn’t the wrong one — it’s making none at all.