I’ve been married to my best friend for twenty-three years. Being with your favorite person is a privilege I hope I never take for granted. Twenty-three years is a long time — longer than the years we spent apart. We met when we were sixteen so we’ve known each other nearly two times longer than we didn’t. That’s also something special.
One of our favorite anniversary traditions is hike to any number of nearby waterfalls. We’re fortunate to live in a place where we can drive a relatively short distance and hike to perhaps even hundreds of waterfalls. Not too bad for a high desert.
We used to take on some pretty strenuous hikes together. In recent years, we’ve slowed down a bit. Our knees ache a little more, and we’re content to do hikes that are not as difficult or ambitious as we used to conquer.
Being in nature is wonderful, and it’s a great place for us to be present with each other. Our hikes are opportunities for us to get lost in conversation together. The particular trail we hiked recently was easy enough that we were able to walk hand-in-hand for much of the short 2-mile loop.
Hiking is something we’ve done on our anniversary for more than a decade. We don’t have to decide to do it anymore, we only have to pick the waterfall we want to attempt that year. Since we live in a desert, dry years make it a little bit trickier to pick one that’s running, but we’ve yet to be disappointed with our efforts.
The conversation on our last hike was around how we want to live as we age. We’re both halfway to ninety years old. I don’t know if either, neither, or both of us will make it to that age, but we discussed the kind of physical and mental condition we want to be in as we age.
There’s truth in the statement that age isn’t a number. I’ve met some very young octogenarians and some very old sexagenarians. One of my running partners is sixty-five and he can still run circles around me.
We also participated in a class that seemed interesting to us. So, for three hours on our anniversary we “went to school.” As we age, some of our interests have converged and others have diverged but the way in which we support each other in our not-in-common interests has made all the difference. There’s a lot of joy to be found in watching another person spread their wings and fly into something new.
An anniversary comes with a built-in excuse that it’s (hopefully) going to be different than other days in some way. Often, you alter our typical behavior to do things you might reserve for that special day. You may purchase a special gift or go to a favorite place to eat that you may not visit regularly.
The important point isn’t the gifts or fancy meals. The point is that you assign special value to an anniversary — value that motivates you to do things differently.
What if you assigned that kind of value to other days of the year — every day of the year — as a way to motivate yourself to work toward those things that have lingered in the back of your mind?
I’m 45 years old now and I have a pretty good idea what I want to do when I grow up. It’s going to take some planning to get there, but there’s no reason not to make the incremental, daily efforts to get there.
Most of have obligations we have to meet everyday, but we also have more discretionary time than we’re willing to admit, particularly when streaming and social media have a near-constant presence in our lives.
What you do with your discretionary time can have a big impact on your progress toward goals. Imagine if you dedicated just a fraction of that time to things that move you closer to your dreams?
It’s easy to fall into a trap of thinking that you need big chunks of time to make progress. My 9th grade Spanish teacher was fond of reminding me that poco a poco, se va lejos. Little by little, you go far. It reads a little weird in English, but you get the idea.
Making use of fractional time requires finding a system that works for you. Perhaps it’s time blocking or the Pomodoro Technique where you use the “down time” to work toward a goal (related or otherwise). Making this time a non-negotiable in your daily routine will help establish consistent effort, build discipline, and provide a sense of accomplishment.
An important question to consider: why not treat everyday like a special day; embracing opportunities — big and small — to make progress toward something you really want. You might surprise yourself with how much you can accomplish over time.
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